and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
