Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
