Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
