Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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