i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
