if i can run in heels then i can drive
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
