Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
