I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
