I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
