No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
