mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
