Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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