CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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