I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Duck Duck Cougar?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
