That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
