I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
