What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
