i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
barbara walters just said penis...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
