I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
