Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
