Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
