I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
