Im at strip club and am horny
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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