ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
