dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
