last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
