Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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