when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
