Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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