They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
