yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
