Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
