how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
