mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
