Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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