Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
