If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
