If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
