I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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