I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
