If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Randomize
