Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
