i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
