It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
