Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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