awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I can't put those talents on a resume
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
