My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
you made out with another girl for some wings
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
