I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
