you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
