something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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