I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
