It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
