I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
handjob tips. give me some.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
